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The unlightable beingness of bears

You don't know me, but you're a big fan of mine

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25 August 1972
Born in a mining village without a mine, Wolfe's early life was understandably confusing. As soon as he was physically able, he fled to Derby, the city best described as "The navel of England". After around 10 years or so, he fell head over heels in love with a damnably attractive and intelligent american girl. The rest, as they say, is history. With a fair amount of geography thrown in to hamper things.

He is tall. Very, very tall indeed. Indeed, he is so tall, passing strangers feel the need to remind him of this, with cries of "Aren't you tall?". Without these reminders, he would be constantly cracking his head on doorjambs. So large, in fact, that people often fail to see him, because he's in the way.

He enjoys wasting the precious few moments of his youth sitting in front of a computer monitor, idly browsing 'humour' sites, and various other online tomfoolery, including Aardwolf MUD as 'Wolfe', and Club Pogo as Wolfechu.

He has, after six and a half years, finally been able to move to Missouri and marry the love of his life. Apart from the US government asking for over a thousand dollars to essentially file a single form, he's pretty much golden.

He denies any involvement in the Kennedy assassinations, but the rumours persist.

Current Terror Alert Level:
Terror Alert Level
Dave Simmons's Facebook profile
2000ad, aardwolf, adom, alan moore, amiga power, amur leopards, anachronisms, angband, animals, anthropology, arguing, art, beauty, being cooler than you, being happy, being smarter than you, being taller than you, britain, card games, cats, cats with hands, chinese food, chris morris, club pogo, coffee, comedy, comics, cosmology, creative swearing, cute american girls, cute things, david bowie, doctor who, dollar stores, douglas adams, dvds, emigration, england, enlightenment, eyangband, faefolk, fantasy, flea markets, freedom, futurama, gadgets, geekiness, general stuff, get fuzzy, graphic novels, gypsydance, happy bunny, hearts, hello kitty, hengband, history, humour, iain m banks, idling, immigration, indigo prime, insaniquarium, irc, john wagner, judge dredd, kevin smith, kittens, kitty loaf, kittycats, larry niven, life, listening, love, lunameow, maelstrom, mah jongg, making fun of goths, medicine, metaphysics, michael moorcock, missouri, mmorpgs, moby, morrowind, mst3k, muds, music, myself, mysteries, mythology, nature, neal stephenson, neil gaiman, neopets, nethack, nice people, nursing, philosophy, pikachu, pizza, poetry, pogo, preacher, psychology, reading, retrogaming, rock, roguelikes, romancing, rpgs, sandman, saphyre, sass, satire, scifi, secrets, semantics, sex, shiny things, sinclair user, sinfest, smoking, snood, something positive, spades, spirituality, squeakz, st louis, stars!, steamband, stuff, synchronicity, talking, taoism, terry pratchett, theology, tome, travel, truth, tv, walking, weddings, wolfe, work, writing, zangband

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